Board Thread:Random Talk/@comment-24844860-20151102110624

Note: This conversation and letter were originally written in another language and might be blotchy at some points. It also contains several swears, so read at your own risk.)

What just happened: My friends and I got into a fight with a creep in our class who was staring at me all day, even when I asked him to stop. My friend has just returned from a short conversation with hime just before the school bus leaves. Conversation starts.

Me: So, what happened?

Friend: Please don't explode, but that shameless moron just sad that you like him. (starts counting)

Me: That bastard said WHAT?!?!? (Starts swearing in 7 languages than will definitely get me a ticket straight to hell)

Friend: (Almost passes out) Oi wait! Hold your horses! (takes out book and pen) I say we write him a letter.

Me: (Smiling deviously) Agreed. Let's start!

Friend: (Starts writing) "Bastard! Jackass! Idiotic shit! Donkey faced dumbass! Shameless asshat! I'll pour boiling lead down your throat! I'll gut you alive like an endangered whale! I drive a rusted spear throught your heart 24 times! I sew you up into the carcass of a dead mountain goat and throw you to the tigers! I'll slap you with an iron heated to 2000 degrees celsius! No wait, that is too kind for a dingus like you! I'll smear it with chilli powder and THEN slap you! I'll whip you with an iron chain and pour salt and lemon into the cuts! I'll grate you up like a carrot, damned shitty bastard! 

Anger me again, and ony four words shall greet you: Welcome to hell, bitch.

Signed,

The devil herself."

Me: I think I'm done.

Friend: I have newfound respect for you. 